jaws5sonofjaws: (Mart Blank)
[personal profile] jaws5sonofjaws
 [Father's day is a bit of a bitter time for Mart on account of his own father, the primal arch-god of the ocean Leviathan, being absent for most of his young life. Also, it's making him homesick for his mother.]

Action:

Around the house, you can find Mart sulking. And in town at various public hangouts (The park, school, etc.) you can also find him sulking, possibly while eating.

Date: 2011-06-24 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[Mart, it is weird to sulk and eat in the middle of the fish aisle in the pet shop.]

U-um...

Date: 2011-06-24 10:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
[While holding a handful of flailing goldfish over his toothy maw] What?
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[What is it with people and trying to eat his fish?!]

Ohhh no what are you doing! Those a-aren't for eating!

[He seems honestly horrified on behalf of the poor goldfish.]

Date: 2011-06-25 04:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
Yeah.

Well.

I'm gonna do it anyway.

[Jaws opening wider...]

Date: 2011-06-25 04:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
Wha-- but, you-- you c-can't, that's...

[He sighs, looking defeated.]

W-well, at least do it quickly, you're... you're scaring them.

Date: 2011-06-25 04:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
[Mart shrugs as he's about to swallow the terrified goldfish... when he sniffs.]

Hey, you got cuttlefish here?

Date: 2011-06-25 04:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[...Wat.]

U-um... n-no, they're really too exotic for a little place like this. Why... why do you ask?

[don't turn colors don't drip ink don't make it obvious

Date: 2011-06-25 04:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
Because I love Cuttlefish!

Deep fried with dipping sauce.

Date: 2011-06-25 04:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT]

U-um well oh look at the time!

[He checks a watch he doesn't have.]

It's, uh, it's time for my break, so you just, you just enjoy y-your, um, l-lunch there and I'll just... l-leave you to it...?

[Aaaand backing towards the back exit. Quickly.]

Date: 2011-06-25 04:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
[Mart drops the goldfish back into their tank. He's got bigger fish to fry. And follows Daniel.]

I know you got cuttlefish here somewhere, I can smell it all over you.

I could really go for a bite of that.

Date: 2011-06-25 05:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
Nnnnnno I'm fairly sure you c-couldn't because w-we don't have any really we don't.

Really.

[And he's just going to slam the door to th back room in Mart's face. Because only employees are allowed back there and clearly Mart will follow the rules like an upstanding citizen.

Oh god who is he kidding where is the nearest window]

Date: 2011-06-25 05:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
[And Mart's gonna throw caution to the wind and throw that door open.]

Coem oen man, I am a potentially paying customer and I demand to know where the delicious cuttlefish is!

So I may give it a home.

In my belly.

Date: 2011-06-25 05:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[WHY IS THE ONLY WINDOW ONE THAT IS LIKE A FOOT WIDE THIS WAS A TERRIBLE PLAN]

We d-don't have any c-cuttlefish not any ever anywhere--

[Mart, he's just spat a gob of ink across the room in sheer terror. Wat do?]

Date: 2011-06-25 05:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
[Well THAT was unexpected.]

Well I'll be damned.

Just be glad you didn't ink me, cuttleface.

[Going to step closer, grinning much wider than before...]

Date: 2011-06-25 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
I w-will if you don't s-s-stop!

[Like it'll do much. Daniel backs up as far as he can until he hits the wall. Oh no oh no. He's died before here, of course: when the Angel possessed him and then oh-so-nicely ripped his skull in two. But it's still a very, very scary thought and he'd really rather it didn't happen.]

U-uhm, look, I could... t-take you out to lunch, buy you s-some calamari or... or something just please d-don't eat me...

Date: 2011-06-25 05:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
Crybaby!

[THE MELODIOUS BELL-RINGING OF YOUR RESCUER ARRIVING DANNYBOY]

Why the fuck haven't you done my laundry yet, bitch? I'm out of fucking socks!

Date: 2011-06-25 05:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
[Mart just turns his head back.]

Do you mind?

I'm just about to have lunch.

Date: 2011-06-25 05:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[Oh my god why is Annie here what is happening]

Annie he's trying to eat me Annie and your laundry is b-behind the counter I was g-going to drop it off after work but that is not the p-point p-please tell him I'm not edible p-please... please...

[Now excuse Daniel while he just shuts down, sinks into a fetal position on the floor, and quietly goes 'eeeeeeeee']

Date: 2011-06-25 05:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
You can't fucking eat him! Who else will do my laundry? [ETERNAL BONDS OF FRIENDSHIP]

Date: 2011-06-25 05:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
Look, I'm feeling like shit, and when I feel shitty, I eat, and that guy is a bipedal chunk of happiness!

Plus, all I was gonna do was gnaw his legs.

They'll grow back.

I saw it on animal planet.

Date: 2011-06-25 05:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
['all I was gonna do was gnaw his legs' oh sweet bearded god on your couch made of clouds what]

Ilikemylegswheretheyarethankyouverymuch!

[He also may or may not be camouflaging to match the gray concrete of the walls and floor. It doesn't work, since of course his clothes don't change with him, but it's a start.]

Date: 2011-06-25 05:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
Look, he's technically my property, so if you fuck with him? I'm gonna be kinda pissed off, maybe. I might do something about it, I dunno.

Besides, if you eat your feelings you'll get fat and then we can't be friends anymore because you'll look like that asshole I hate.

Date: 2011-06-25 05:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
But he smells delicious and-

[Mart pauses a moment. A fat asshole she hates? It could only be one guy...]

Hey, this guy wouldn't happen to be a Nazi Bastard, would he?

Date: 2011-06-25 06:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[Daniel is a-okay with just laying here and trying very hard to breathe. And not cry. Annie will probably punch him if he cries. It's the weirdest method of trying to cheer someone up ever but he knows she means well: it shows in how hard she hits.]

Date: 2011-06-25 06:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
[LOVE IS BROKEN CLAVICLES] Total Nazi Bastard. Hate that guy.

Date: 2011-06-25 06:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
Seriously! He's a real bastard.

I beat the shit out of him, gnawed his leg, bit his arm off and beat him with it, and he still wanted to go and was egging me on!

Date: 2011-06-25 06:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
S-sounds like a r-real j-jerk...

[Hey, Daniel just made a noise that wasn't a sob or a continuous whine of terror! Forgot he was there, didn't you, fellow zoo jews?]

Date: 2011-06-25 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
Dude, you totally just gave him what he wanted. He's probably jacking off to that shit right now, you dumb fuck!

Date: 2011-06-25 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
Ew, oh god, what the fuck is wrong with that guy!?

Literally.

I bit his arm off and beat him with it and he laughed!

Date: 2011-06-25 06:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
Th-that's r-really g-gross, wh-why would you... why...

[Oh man does he feel dizzy. And that wasn't even a bad attack. That was just a bit of whimpering and horror.]

Date: 2011-06-25 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
He's a fucking freak, that's what's wrong with him.

... [pokepoke daniel with her foot] You dead down there?

Date: 2011-06-25 06:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
No kidding.

And don't worry, I didn't even touch the cuttlefish guy.

He just smells like he'd taste good witha side of fries.

Date: 2011-06-25 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
I... I w-would not!

[Aaaand sitting up. And fumbling in his coat for a small bag of purple planty stuff and... a pipe. Because after an experience like that, he needs a smoke. Don't judge.]

Date: 2011-06-25 07:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
Please, you need some fucking self-contro--

[speaking of hypocrisy, you now have Annie's 100% undivided attention right now homeboy] What are you doing.

Date: 2011-06-25 07:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
Looks like he's about to toke up.

Did getting high off that suttf have something to do with you being all cuttle-like?
Edited Date: 2011-06-25 07:11 am (UTC)

Date: 2011-06-25 07:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
No and it is medicine.

[Jeez you guys are jerks.]

It h-helps with my anxiety, w-which getting nearly eaten obviously triggered.

[Just gonna. Stand up and smoke dat pipe. Haters gonna hate. Also he might purposefully blow his bright purple opaque smoke at Mart's face in a fit of passive-aggressive and useless revenge.]

Date: 2011-06-25 07:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notsaul.livejournal.com
Crybaby, what have I told you about sharing? You selfish fuck. [SHARE YOUR DRUGS WITH THE REST OF THE CLASS]

Date: 2011-06-25 07:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jaws5sonofjaws.livejournal.com
Hey.

Can I get a hit of that?

That shit would totally help me relax.

[Sharing is caring, you guys!]

Date: 2011-06-25 07:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cuttlefidget.livejournal.com
[Oh my god]

... If you get your own pipes.

Though I d-don't know why you'd want it. It's not a hallucinogenic or anything. It really doesn't do anything but make you calmer.

[Really. It's a boring drug with a snazzy color, that's all.]

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